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Chữa đề thi thật IELTS Writing task 2 Young people should be punished the same as adults
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Chữa đề thi thật IELTS Writing task 2 Young people should be punished the same as adults

Chữa đề thi thật IELTS Writing task 2. Young people who commit serious crimes, such as robbery and violent attacks, should be punished the same as adults. Do you agree or disagree?
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    Đề thi thật IELTS

    Young people who commit serious crimes, such as robbery and violent attacks, should be punished the same as adults. Do you agree or disagree?

    Dàn ý tham khảo 

    • Introduction: 
      • Paraphrase lại đề bài. 
      • Thesis statement: phản đối hoàn toàn luận điểm của để bài
    • Body Paragraph 1: Harsh punishment is morally inconsistent. 
      • Supporting point 1: Adults are aware of consequences, teenagers aren’t => Unfair to treat them the same.
      • Explain: Nowadays, children are exposed to normalized criminal behavior through te media, but are uneducated in the consequences
      • Supporting point 2: Most children commit crime because they have to
      • Explain: Crimes are prevalent among young people in poor neighborhoods, because it is the only source of income. => natural reactions to difficult circumstances, not something to be condemned and punished. 
    • Body Paragraph 2: Social problems resulting from harsh punishment
      • Supporting point 1: Increased recidivism 
      • Explain: In jail -> limited access to education and job. Go out of jail -> Adults with no degree/ work experience -> can’t apply for jobs, only option is joining criminal gangs. 
      • Supporting point 2: Breed resentments towards the system. 
      • Explain: Because of their lack of legal awareness, criminals who are young may find their sentences to be unjust. 
      • => Rebellion and social disorder. 
    •  Conclusion: 
      • Tóm tắt lại toàn bộ luận điểm được để cập trong bài.

    Sample answer band 7.5 

    Nowadays, there is a belief that teenagers who commit criminal offenses should be treated the same as adults. However, I do not share this sentiment due to several reasons that will be further elaborated in this essay. 

    On the one hand, the harsh punishment of young people who break the law is morally unjustifiable. First of all, it is quite unfair for juvenile offenders to be punished with the similar severity applied to adults, when the former are not as aware of the legal consequences as the latter. This is especially ironic considering a modern child is hyper-exposed, to the point of desensitization, to many criminal behaviors in various media they are allowed to consume, yet is woefully uneducated on the gravity of those actions. In addition, children rarely commit crimes for the sake of it, but often do so in response to the circumstances they find themselves in. Violent crimes like robberies and murder are often rampant among the youth in poor neighborhoods, simply because the fortune gained from such behaviors is, in many cases, the only source of income in their families. Punishing them for their natural reaction to their living condition would be ridiculous. 

    On the other hand, putting young offenders behind bars would have several serious social implications. To begin with, it often leads to increased recidivism. To be more specific, being in prison, justifiably or not, means limited access to education and work. Once they finish serving their sentences, they become fully grown adults without any degree or working experience, which makes it impossible to find a job with a stable income to sustain their own survival. At this point, what choices do these fully grown men and women have to continue living, aside from joining predatory criminal gangs? Another point to consider is that due to their limited awareness about the legality of their actions, young criminals are more likely to feel that their sentences are unfair. This breeds resentment towards the system that condemns them to confinement, which can lead to rebellion and social disorder. 

    In short, treating juvenile offenders the same as adult criminals is neither morally justifiable nor socially beneficial. Regarding this matter, rehabilitation and investment into impoverished areas will be better approaches since they account for their lack of legal awareness and address the socioeconomic root causes that lead to crimes in the first place. 

    Từ vựng hữu ích 

    •     Commit offenses = committed crime = break the law: Phạm tội 
    •     Morally unjustifiable (adj) Không thể biện minh được bằng mặt đạo đức. 
    •     Juvenile (adj) Thành niên
    •     Criminals/ Offenders (n) Kẻ phạm tội
    •     Legal consequences (collocation) Hệ quả pháp lý
    •     Exposed to (adj) Được tiếp xúc với
    •     Desensitization (n) Vô cảm, lãnh cảm
    •     Gravity (n) Trọng lực/ sức nặng
    •     Rampant (adj) Phổ biến (thường mang nghĩa tiêu cực, và đi với một hiện tượng/ sự vật     hơn là người)
    •     Recidivism (n) Việc tái phạm tội
    •     Breed resentment (collocation) Làm nảy nở sự thù oán
    •     Breed (v) Phối giống
    •     Resentment (n) Sự thù oán
    •     Confinement (n) Việc bị giam cầm
    •     Rehabilitation (n) Sự cải tạo
    •     Impoverished (adj) Nghèo đói
    •     Socioeconomic (adj) xã hội - kinh tế 
    •     Sentences (n) Bản án
    •     Social disorder (n) Sự mất trật tự xã hội
    •     Rebellion (n) Sự nổi loạn.
       
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